


The Wolf Wants what it Wants

by HakeberHooligan



Series: Department of Mysteries Monthly Prompts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Secret Admirer, Secret Crush, Valentine's Day, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 17:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17902454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HakeberHooligan/pseuds/HakeberHooligan
Summary: Someone is leaving chocolate bars on Remus' bed. At the same time, Sirius has been acting distant. Remus works on his relationship with his best friend while worrying that he has a secret admirer, whose heart he'll have to break. After all, who would want a werewolf? Set in Year Six.





	The Wolf Wants what it Wants

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Thanks for checking this out. This was the February prompt for the Department of Mysteries Facebook group. This month's prompt was 'Secret admirer that's revealed during the Valentine's Day Ball'. It's a little rough around the edges, but I figured I'd throw it up and let the readers decide : ) Enjoy!

 

    The first time Remus found a chocolate bar on his pillow, he didn’t think much of it. His friends, James, Sirius, and Peter were always buying him a bar whenever they visited Hogsmeade. They usually make a big show of being so generous, though. Lily was also known to sneak into their dorm and leave a treat on his worse days.

    He snags the bar and brings it with him to the library. It’s a sweet snack that settles his wolf and his human side alike.

    - - -

    The chocolate bars show up every day for the next week. Remus can never seem to catch who’s doing it. It has to be one of the Gryffindor boys or girls, or maybe someone is having an owl deliver? As delicious as they are, it’s slowly driving him mad not knowing.

    One week after he’s received his first bar, he climbs the stairs and finds two on pillow. Sirius is lounging on his bed, back propped against his headboard. He’s holding a magazine sideways, and a centerfold is unfurled.

    “I don’t care if the picture doesn’t move. It’s bloody brilliant!” He says to Remus, turning his head to the side to get a better view of whatever woman he’s ogling at. Remus rolls his eyes and grabs the candy.

    “Did you see who left these?”

    Sirius doesn’t even look at him. “No-pe.” He pops the ‘p’. “Give us one though, won’t you?” He sticks out a hand and makes a ‘gimme’ gesture. Remus chucks one of the bars and nails Sirius right in the forehead.

    “Oy!” He yells, dropping the magazine and rubbing his forehead. He glares daggers at Remus, who busts out laughing.

    Remus jumps backwards onto his bed and bounces on the mattress before wriggling into a more comfortable position. He throws an arm behind his head, and crosses his ankles.

    “Maybe it was James. He just usually boasts about being kind to me in front of Lily, and he didn’t the last time.”

    Sirius makes a noncommittal noise and rips into the chocolate. He shoves half of the bar in his mouth and makes loud mouth noises.

    “Charming.” Remus says with grimace. He unwraps his chocolate and eats it a square at a time, savoring the sweet confection. He doesn’t know who left it, but the full moon is tonight and he needed it. He closes his eyes and sighs, letting the tension seep from his weary bones.

    - - -

    “I’m sorry! we have detention! Slughorn won’t let us out of it!” James throws his hands up in the air, while Peter nervously chews a nail beside him.

    “And you can’t skip it? Or get out early? Or have it _any other day_ this month?!” Sirius yells back, just as loudly.

    “It’s really not an issue-” Remus begins.

    “No, Remus, it is. Because we’re supposed to be there for you. We made a promise when we found out you were a werewolf. We’re all in this together. And they’re bailing, _again.”_ Sirius points a finger at the two teens in question. “You’re being shitty friends.”

    He storms out of the dormitory. Peter is looking at his feet, and James’ face is twisted in an angry scowl, his hands balled into fists by his side. Remus puts a hand on James’ shoulder.

    “You know I don’t feel like that. Just do your detention, and we can run together next full moon.”

    “Yeah.” James mutters. His shoulders fall and the fight leaves him. “Sorry, Moony.” He says with an upturned mouth. James drags out there nicknames when he’s especially emotional. Remus knows that he’s trying to convey his feelings, but none of them have ever been too good at that. So they use their other names when what they’re feeling is hard to put into words.

    Remus smiles at him and gives his shoulder a squeeze.

    “It’s okay, Prongs. Really.” He looks over to Peter. “You too, Wormtail. And don’t look so miserable.” He laughs at the two of them. “Honestly, it’s what you get for trying to sneak a laxative potion into the Slytherin’s pumpkin juice. Next time, don’t get caught.”

    - - -

    Remus wakes up the next morning with a throbbing headache. He screws his eyes shut, and nuzzles into the soft fur in front of him, groaning into it. Then he snaps his eyes open and sits up fast, causing the robe on him to fall and his head to spin. Once the throbbing subsides to a more manageable level, he looks next to him to see a large black dog with his back flush against him.

     _Oh, right._ His head is always fuzzy and slow after the night of the full moon. He doesn’t really remember much, it’s more like flashes of a dream. They usually retreat to their own corners when they go to sleep, but Sirius must have been really missing James and Peter.

    Remus reaches into his robe pocket, thankful that Sirius has the forethought to cover him with it before dozing off. The wolf is so close to the surface the days before and after the moon, and there’s a potion that Slughorn makes him that helps keep a handle on the wolf, and also helps with the aches and pains the morning after.

    He plugs his nose and downs the potion in one gulp - _Ugh -_ Then he wraps his robe around himself and gently shakes Sirius.

    “Sirius, wake up. We have to get back to the school.” Sirius is slow to rise. He lets loose a huge, whining yawn, stands up, stretches his forelegs out in front of him, then moving forward to stretch his hind legs.

    He give a final shake that travels down his body, then looks at Remus expectantly.

    “Aren’t you going to turn back?” Remus asks, confused. Sirius chuffs. “Whatever.” He grabs his always out of the pocket. _“Lumos.”_

    They travel through the tunnel to the Whomping Willow in silence. Remus waits at the entrance for Sirius to turn back, but he stubbornly stays in his animagus form. It’s early enough that no one will see them traversing the grounds, but it isn’t the smartest move Sirius has made. And there’s no reason for it to begin with.

    Remus reaches out of the hole to push the fake knob in the tree, making it still. He mutters _nox_ and they’re plunged into darkness. They climb out, and Remus finally loses his patience. His wolf still so close to the surface, and with it, his emotions.

    “Did I do something last night to piss you off?” He demands with a small growl to his voice. Sirius’ ears droop, and his tail slightly falls. Not much, but enough for Remus to notice. He almost looks… ashamed? Guilty? That can’t be right.

    Sirius turns tail and runs back to the castle, leaving Remus shivering in the predawn chill.

    He’s seething by the time he enters the dormitory ten minutes later. Peter and James jump awake at the noise of Remus storming into the room.

    “Where is he?!” He growls.

    James rubs the heel of his hand into his eye.

     _“What_ are you going on about, mate?” He mumbles.

    “Sirius.” He spits out in a clipped tone.

    “He’s not with you?” Peter pipes up. “It’s just been James and I since we got in a little after 1am.”

    James sits up straighter. “Is everything okay?” He asks, concern laced in his voice.

    Remus grabs the Marauder’s Map off of his nightstand.

    “No, I don’t think so.”

    - - -

    He finds Sirius on the quidditch pitch, flying high and making complicated twists and turns in the air. _Clever,_ Remus thinks bitterly. Sirius knows that he can’t stand brooms or heights, and his wolf enjoys it even less.

    He sits on the player’s bench and waits, pulling his robe tightly around him. Sirius does a few more complicated maneuvers, and then starts to descend in wide circles. He drops his broom where he lands and sits heavily on the bench next to Remus.

    “I’m sorry, Remus.” Sirius says, words laced with regret. “It’s just… full moons, they’re long nights. You get to hide under your beast, but the rest of us? Without the ability to talk, we’re left to our thoughts. And these last two moons, it was just you and me. No distractions. It gave me a lot of time to think. I was too deep in my head last night, this morning too. Thinking about…” he pauses. “It’s just, the Valentine’s Day ball is tonight, and-”

    “You must be joking.” Remus scoffs, connecting the dots. _Of course._ “You’re giving me the cold shoulder because of some _girl?”_ He throws his hands up. “I give up.”

    “Who said it was a girl?” Sirius says quietly, picking at the hem of his robes, eyes downcast.

    Remus feels a look of complete shock cross his face. He schools it to indifference quickly, and is thankful that Sirius didn’t see it.

    “Oh. Well that’s… there’s nothing _wrong_ with that, Sirius.” Sirius looks at him now, and and a small smile plays at his lips, but doesn’t meet his eyes. “So… He was on your mind this morning?”

    Sirius snorts. “You could say that.”

    Remus is trying to find something to say to let Sirius know that even if his friend is interested in men, that changes nothing between them. Remus himself has been attracted to men in the past. Not that it matters, because Remus has sworn off dating entirely. No one needs to be burdened by his curse. He’s already asked enough from his friends.

    “Just tell him how you feel. The worst thing that will happen is he’ll reject you. But the best thing… you find love. Is the possibility of rejection worth losing the possibility of love?”

    Sirius’ smile finally reaches his eyes, and his whole face seems to light up. “Well, when you put it like that… what about you?Maybe whoever’s been leaving you all of those chocolate bars will make themselves known.”

    “Don’t remind me.” He drags a hand down his face. “Whoever she is, i'll try to let her down as easy as possible. She doesn’t want me, once she finds out what I am.”

    “Well, what if she’s a he?” Sirius asks curiously. _Oh._ He hadn’t really considered that. “Well, I certainly don't have anything against men, but just the same. Whoever it is, they’re better of without me.” This conversation has taken the fight out of him, and left him miserable.

    “There you two are!” A voice startles then both.

    Lily is making her way across the pitch to the two of them.

    “For the love of Merlin, you two need to get back to the dormitory _now_ . James sent a dozen owls my way with invitations to the ball tonight, and he instructed the damn things to stay in the common room until I say yes. Everyone is pestering me to agree. _Honestly_.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Go knock some sense into him, before I do.”

    - - -

    All too soon, the evening ball is upon them. The wolf is still too close to the surface for Remus’ liking, and that combined with the worry of possibly being confronted by his secret admirer only adds to the knots in his stomach, warring with the fire in his veins.

    The four of them get ready in their dorm. Even though Lily has emphatically refused James’ advances, he was cheerful as ever.

    “Tonight is the night that Lily Evans realizes that she’s been in love with me since year one.” He boasts with a goofy grin. Sirius snorts, and Peter looks at him in awe.

    Remus can’t even bring himself to chuckle. He’s a bundle of human nerves and wolf primal urges and it’s making his head spin. The others take notice, and they form a half circle around him.

    “Just follow your heart.” James says.

    “Kiss her if she lets you.” Peter supplies.

    Sirius clasps Remus on the shoulder. “Whoever it is… give them a chance.” It’s almost a whisper. Remus gives him a soft smile. Out of all of his friends, his wolf has always like Sirius the most. Remus chalks it up to two things: his animagus is canine, and he has a personality to match. With the wolf so close to the surface, he can feel the appreciation it feels towards Sirius.

    They head down the stairs and to the dining hall. It’s been completely changed. Instead of candles floating, there’s flames that have been charmed in pinks and reds. The tables have been moved to the walls to make space for a dance floor. The party is in full swing. There’s a live band and students of all ages are dancing.

    James spots Lily and takes off. Peter tries to follow him, but isn’t fast enough and gets trapped on the dance floor. Remus and Sirius laugh at his expense, watching him try to worm his way through the students, to find safety in the fringes.

    Sirius nudges Remus with his shoulder, and opens his robe to show a bottle a firewhiskey hidden in one of the pockets. He the points his chin towards the punch bowl. Sometimes, it’s like Sirius knew him better than he knows himself. He nods and they head over.

    Remus fills his cup by more than half with the whiskey, eager to get buzzed and settle his nerves. He gulps the first cup down fast and makes a second one.

    - - -

    An hour later, he and Sirius are stumbling down the long wooden bridge, leaning on each other for support and laughing about nothing. Sirius has had far less to drink than Remus, but he's always playing up his intoxication, and he only needs a glass or two to let loose. Remus can also naturally drink more, as a werewolf. They’re past the point of tipsy, but not quite drunk.

    When they get to the end of the bridge, they go to one of the tall rocks that stand upright, and fall against one, leaning against each other.

    Remus sighs. “I guess I worried for nothing. No one approached me at all tonight. Maybe they lost their nerve, or it was nothing more than a kind gesture.”

    Sirius is looking down at his hands, quiet.

    “What’s wrong?” Remus says, trying to mentally clear his head. His brain feels sluggish, and it’s hard to focus on Sirius’ face in the dark. “Oh! You’ve spent the entire night with me, not talking to your crush. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to steal all of your time.”

    “Remus…” His voice sounds strained, and there’s an edge of seriousness to it. “I know you don’t remember the full moons. Not much of it, anyways. But I do. I’m conscious the whole time.”

    “Ooookay,” Remus says slowly. He has absolutely no idea where this is headed.

    “These last two moons, with just the two of us, you’ve acted… different.”

    “Oh no. I hurt you, didn’t I?” He’s so angry with himself. He’s a monster. It was juvenile of him to think that he could have friends, have companions, being what he was. His wolf snarls at him in defense within his mind.

    “No! No, it’s not like that. Quite the opposite, actually.” Sirius is chewing on his bottom lip.

    “When I’m Padfoot, I can pick up scents of emotion, of intention. You’ve always smelled… I don’t know, fond? Kindred? It’s hard to put into words. But these last two moons, I could pick up something else from you, and I think that maybe you subconsciously haven’t allowed yourself to feel it around the others.” He stops.

    Remus is still confused, but he can see where this conversation is slowly headed, and he doesn’t know what to do. Sure, he loves Sirius. He’s his best friend, his pack mate, his right hand. But that’s it... Right? He clears his throat.

    “What… what’s the other smell?” He asks in a small voice.

    “Oh, bollocks. I’m just going to say it. You were affectionate, Remus. To me. To Padfoot.”

    Remus is stunned into silence. _Affectionate?_ As in kind, gentle, loving? Werewolves couldn’t behave like that. They were feral beasts.

    Sirius looks up and Remus feels like he’s looking straight into his soul. It takes his breath away, and leaves him light-headed.

    “That other scent? It was devotion. Passion. _Love.”_ Sirius whispers the last word.

    They both seem to be at a loss for words. They stare at each other, quiet, silent, and Remus can feel his wolf straining towards Sirius, silently whimpering and whining.

    “Were you the one, leaving me chocolate?” Remus asks, His voice rough. Sirius gives him a half-smile, and nods.

    “I didn’t know what to say, how to say it. I’ve always been more of a gifts-guy than a words-guy.”

    “So, if this is the case, why were you so mad about James and Peter having detention?” Remus is confused. A small part of him had thought that Sirius was afraid to be alone with him.

    “Because I wasn’t ready to face these new feelings head-on. It scared me, at first, but only because I thought that feeling this way would lead to you not wanting to be my friend anymore.”

    “Hogwash!” Remus exclaims. “I would never stop being your friend, especially over something like this. And as flattered as I am, Sirius, I’m no good for you. I’m no good for anyone.” He frowns, unable to look Sirius in the face.

    “Don’t do that.” Sirius says angrily. “Stop selling yourself short _like that._ You always are, and it makes me want to throttle you. You’re a decent guy, Remus. Wolf or not. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

    “Thank you.” Remus feels tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. “I’ve never told anyone this… but the day before and after the full moon, I can feel the wolf in my head, almost like a second consciousness. I know you guys just think I’m irritable, but it’s more than that. He… he’s very protective of you. He cares for you very deeply. He considers you his second in command. I had assumed that residual feelings I had were a reflection of the pack bond that he felt towards you. I’ve never taken the time to properly inspect them.”

    Sirius’ eyes are wide, and he looks so damn _hopeful._ “You… you have feelings for me too? Past friendship?”

    Remus nods. “So… what do we do now?”

    “You could kiss me, you fool.” Sirius mutters. He grabs the shoulders of Remus’ robes and pulls him forward. He doesn’t advance past that, and looks imploringly into Remus’ eyes, silently asking for permission.

    Remus decided to throw caution to the wind. He leans forward into Sirius, and their lips meet. His wolf pushes for a hungry, frenzied kiss, but Remus want to take him time. He wants this moment to last forever.

    - - -

    It’s past midnight when they find themselves back in their dormitory. Peter is asleep, and James is sitting cross-legged in his bed, tracking Lily on the map. When they enter the dorm, James looks up and shoves the map aside quickly.

    “Hey, there they are! So, did you find out who she was?” He says to Remus, waggling his brows in a humorous fashion.

    “Yeah, I did.” He replies, looking at Sirius with an easy smile on his lips.

    “Well, I hope you two were more lucky than I was. Poor Lily still refuses to acknowledge her deep and undying love of one James Potter. A shame, really. But she didn’t dance with anyone else.” He has a dreamy look on his face.

    If he hadn’t been so ingrained in his own love affair, he would have taken the time to notice his two best friends had their fingers firmly laced together.

    If that wasn't enough to tip him off, Remus crawling under Sirius’ covers after him certainly was. James makes an embarrassing squawk of pure confusion.

    “Not a word, Prongs.” Sirius says, with a look that promises pain if he doesn’t behave.

    James schools his features and says nonchalantly, “I was just going to say it’s about time is all. Keep the moaning to a minimum.”

    Remus nails him with a pillow and sends him tumbling off the other side of his bed. Sirius laughs swishes his wand, making the curtains close around them. Remus snuggles back into Sirius’ arms, content and  happy.

    For the first time in his life, he and the wolf are at peace.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this fic, feel free to head on over to my Facebook page and say hi 😊 It’s such a great way to further interact with all of you wonderful people ❤️💕
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/HakeberHooligan/


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